


the moment where the words will come

by tokiwas



Category: TsukiPro the Animation
Genre: Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 15:57:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19794187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tokiwas/pseuds/tokiwas
Summary: like everything else that happens between them, this, too, is a natural phenomenon.





	the moment where the words will come

**Author's Note:**

> (in case anyone doesn't know,) natsume souseki once translated the english phrase "i love you" into the japanese phrase "the moon is beautiful, isn't it"  
> **  
> title taken from "parade" by yorushika

Step by step.

The two of them walk wordlessly towards the gardens outside the dorms. Shuu does this, from time to time – when it’s late and he can’t sleep, he likes to surround himself with greenery to calm him down. Usually he goes alone, but today, Eichi had requested to join him.

It’s a strange sensation, to hear a second pair of footsteps, to have the presence of another person next to him, at such a late hour. But it’s not a bad one. Eichi’s presence is calming, as it always is, and every time Shuu takes a glance, the sight of him there sends a warmth spreading deep within his body, right below his throat.

It’s nice, to have Eichi by his side.

The atmosphere is cold when they exit the dorms and reach the gardens. It’s still early into the year, and even though the leaves have grown and flowers have bloomed, the nights are still chilly. Shuu and Eichi walk towards one of the benches to take a seat, when a cold wind blows, making them shiver slightly.

“It’s gotten pretty cold,” Eichi says, burying himself deeper into his jacket. “Why not I get us something from the vending machine?”

Shuu wants to offer to get the drinks himself, but before he can speak, Eichi dashes off to the nearest vending machine. He should have expected it. Horimiya Eichi, ex-assistant director, always willing to get everyone whatever they need. Horimiya Eichi, full of kindness and strength, full of eagerness to speak, to help. Shuu has known those truths about Eichi for a long time. In the past, he admired those parts about Eichi, had regarded Eichi highly because of it.

Now, the knowledge of it threatens to tear his heart into two.

He wishes to stay by Eichi’s side, and nothing more. It was a wish that formed in his heart the day their unit was formed. But over time, that simple want had grown, changed its shape, grew petals of a different colour than before.

Despite his yearning, nothing much changes. He doesn’t dare hope to ask for more than what they have. To spend his days together with everyone in Quell, he considers it a blessing – he refuses to take it for granted, he refuses to wish for anything to change. But no matter how many times he tells himself this, his desire, hidden underneath his calm exterior, continues to bloom.

Shuu stares at his shoes, head filled with thoughts of Eichi. The sound of his footsteps, hurrying across the pavement. The way he mutters to himself, eyes scanning the vending machine, fingers hovering over what he thinks he should buy. The sigh he lets out when he’s made his choice.

Even if Shuu isn’t at the vending machine, he knows Eichi is doing all those things at this very moment, and he is overcome with longing.

He wishes to stay by Eichi’s side, and nothing else.

Soon enough, Eichi returns with two hot drinks, his breath fogging up in the cold night air. The sight of him hurrying back makes Shuu smile.

“Here you go.” Eichi hands the hot drink to Shuu, taking a seat on the bench next to him. As he looks up, his face suddenly brightens. “Oh, look!”

He points, at the direction of a cluster of tall buildings, and Shuu notices it – the full moon, appearing from behind a cloud. The night is mostly clear, and the stars shine brightly in the sky, reminding Shuu of rows and rows of strawberry flowers.

“What a lovely view,” Eichi sighs, almost dreamily. Shuu nods in reply, opening the lid of his drink.

Red bean soup. Eichi had known without asking.

Steam from their cans rise into the air. The two of them keep silent, admiring the view and basking in each other’s company. All Shuu can think of is Eichi, and his shining eyes, and his warm smile. Eichi, stronger than anyone else, always overcoming problems with a smile. Always surprising him, always showing him something new. Shuu is helpless, overcome with the feelings that well up inside him. No matter how many times he writes it on paper, transcribes it onto music sheets, expresses it on ivory keys, he can never be free of this emotion. It swells and grows within his heart, and he clings to it, almost stubbornly, unwilling to let it go. He has been free all his life, a kite without a string, and all he wishes to be is tethered.

“The moon is beautiful, isn’t it,” he says, the words escaping his lips without him thinking.

Beside him, he hears Eichi stiffen. Shuu doesn’t dare look to see what expression he’s making. The quiet continues, as if the night is waiting for him to say anything further.

He doesn’t.

He knows that the phrase he has spoken holds meaning; that the words he has chosen go beyond a casual statement. But even so-

There is no reason for denial, for there is nothing false about what he has said.

There is no need to pose any further question, for it is a statement that he needs no answer to.

The moon is beautiful, whether or not Eichi responds.

The confession, spoken on impulse, changes nothing.

But Eichi, always surprising, always showing Shuu something new, breaks the silence.

“It is. The moon is beautiful.”

Shuu can’t help himself – he turns to see Eichi, gaze fixed on the moon. The other man is blushing in a way that is almost comical; bright red to the tips of his ears, hands shaking, and yet – his eyes are firm, determined.

Always surprising. Always showing him something new.

There is nothing more that needs to be said. Shuu turns back to face the sky, side by side with Eichi, enjoying the night air. They start to talk about different things – Shuu’s upcoming drama, the twins’ day, Eichi’s plans for tomorrow’s meal. Once their cans are empty, they turn back, heading back towards the dorms.

Step by step. The moon shines above them. They walk by rows of flowers – edelweiss, creeping wood sorrels, evening primroses, balloon flowers. Shuu’s hand finds Eichi’s – fingers touching, palms meeting, hands hesitantly closing around each other – and Eichi does not pull away.

The meaning of the words spoken earlier hang heavy over the two of them.

Step by step. They reach the entrance of the dorms, and Shuu is unable to keep his calm anymore. He steps forward, in front of Eichi, blocking him from the view of anyone who dares to peek.

Eichi is taller than him – he can’t hide the whole of him away. But no one can see what matters, anyway – Shuu clasping onto both of Eichi’s hands, leaning forward, so that they’re nose to nose, forehead to forehead. Eichi’s face is flushed, and Shuu can feel his own ears going red, not knowing how to navigate through the desire burning deep within him. But then Eichi giggles, his eyes scrunching up, his lips lifting into a smile. A smile just for him, a smile no one else can see. Shuu can’t help but smile back.

Quietly, they say the same words to each other, over and over again.

Only the moon watches what they do, overhears the words they speak. It will understand, Shuu thinks. After all, the selfish moon, once in a while, turns its back towards the Earth, and keeps the sun to itself, hiding the light from view. Of course it will understand.

**Author's Note:**

> this fic began as me wanting to write shuu confessing to eichi, but without using the words "i love you"... and somehow it spanned into me attempting to write a love story without using the word "love". i hope the feelings of "love" manages to manifest, even without the word itself!  
> **  
> flowers mentioned:  
> strawberry flowers – happy family, respect and affection, anticipation, you make me happy  
> edelweiss – precious memories, bravery, deep feelings of first love  
> wood sorrel – happiness, a shining heart, a mother’s kindness  
> evening primrose – wordless love  
> balloon flower – eternal love, deep affection


End file.
